Twenty-three years together and the family, including twin sons, of a California lesbian couple is about to be forcibly split up by federal immigration laws. Next time you hear that separate-but-equal line of bull about “you have all the rights of marriage, bla, bla, bla” point to this:
Binational, same-sex couples face immigration problems
Shirley Tan’s calm and happy life — San Mateo County housewife, mother of twin 12-year-old boys, singing in the church choir — blew up at 6:30 a.m. on Jan. 28, with a knock on the front door.
Within minutes, the immigration agent standing there had the 43-year-old Tan in handcuffs. She is scheduled to be deported to her native Philippines on Friday.
If Jay Mercado, Tan’s partner of 23 years and the mother of her sons, were a different gender, it’s highly unlikely that knock ever would have come. As a U.S. citizen, Mercado could have sponsored a wedded spouse for legal permanent residency. But although Mercado and Tan married in San Francisco in 2004, federal law limits the definition of marriage to a man and a woman, and same-sex partners of U.S. citizens don’t have a route to legal permanent residence extended to straight married couples.
It might be too late for Tan and Mercado, but on behalf of thousands of similar same-sex couples, Congress is considering changing federal law to allow same-sex “permanent partners” the same immigration rights as opposite-sex married couples. U.S. Rep. Jackie Speier, D-San Mateo, who called Tan’s situation “unacceptable,” is among a group in Congress, including Democratic Sen. Barbara Boxer, who hope to change immigration law to mirror many countries in Europe that allow gays and lesbians to sponsor a same-sex partner for legal residency.
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Mercado and Tan, who first appealed for political asylum for Tan in 1995 and thought their case was still pending, said they were completely unaware a deportation order had been issued in 2002. If Tan is deported this week, they will have to decide between separating two sons from one of their mothers, or moving the family to a country they have never known.
“It’s hard when they are breaking up families,” said a tearful Mercado, as she sat next to Tan in the house the couple owns overlooking the Pacific Ocean. “Why can’t they just leave us alone? Just because I am not a man, that I cannot petition her (for a green card), they are punishing us.”
“The thing is,” Tan said, “it’s not only me who they are punishing. It is mainly my kids, because they are innocent. They are the ones suffering.”
There are several other heart-breaking stories in the article about GLBT families being split by “gratuitously cruel” immigration laws. Visit Immigration Equality for information about what you can do to change the laws.
Tip: UK Gay News
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